Hunting Season

So, we are allowed to use reasonable force to protect our homes and castles...those of us that have castles that is...from the privations of intruders, even if that means shooting the thieving beggars. Of course, the memsahib has been doing this for years. Anything that moves within a five hundred yard radius of the west wing gets a couple of rounds sent its way. On occasion it might even get something larger if she manages to evade the houseboys and reaches the cannon on the terrace. One remembers when the vicar first arrived in the parish, couldn't get out in the garden to tend his petunias for weeks without a couple of shells being lobbed in his direction. Convinced he was a ne'er do-well after her jewels she was. Anyway, one digresses.

Had the local PC arrive to explain the situation, nice chap with his regulation issue bicycle and MP5, just the sort of thing for sorting out arguments at the W.I fete. Hasn't been a decent punch up over the jam prizes for a good few years now. Apparently you can give the blighters both barrels or a decent manly uppercut to the jaw as perfected by Mr Hannay, Drummond et al but you aren't allowed to keep doing it once they are down. Of course, this does rather spoil the pleasure of giving the cads a damn good licking or horse-whipping them down the drive covered in tar and feathers but as one pointed out, if they get on the wrong end of ones elephant gun they definitely won't be getting up. In fact one might be hard pressed to find enough of them to actually press charges against oneself.

Seems a jolly sound idea and can't wait to try it against the local bad lads once they recover from the New Year incident. Have even arranged for some of ones chums to visit, after all, the law does not mention volley fire. Clackthorpe is positively beside himself with joy after being told he can now use the now redundant Fortescue hounds to chase the bounders across the Lower meadow to flush them into the path of the waiting guns as it does not contravene any of the new hunting regulations.

Sanity prevails! Toodle pip!