Scandal

Bit of a scandal last week, sort of thing that the less savoury tabloids love. Vicar in love child shocker! Seems they were claiming the old boy cast his wild oats when he was younger and now the past was coming back to haunt him in the forms of Lady Emmaline and her sister Lady Agatha. Of course one did not believe a word of it but looking back, the signs were there.

One remembers those far distant summers spent punting down the river with Lady Emmaline and her delightful sisters Agatha and Eglatine along with the vicar and Blenkinsop who would limp along the riverbank bowed beneath the weight of a picnic hamper full of delightful comestibles and lashings of ginger beer, occasionally disappearing from sight as he fell over clumps of nettles. All so often 'Roly Poly' as the vicar was affectionately known and Agatha would disappear to collect wild flowers for her to press and would be gone for some time. Should have been suspicious of the time they vanished into the churchyard only to reappear several hours later with 'In Loving Memory' embossed across the back of her coat.

Just last week, the ladies returned along with a young gentleman who actually bore a startling resemblance to Luigi, the under gardener. Could not quite work it out until one suddenly remembered the day when the artistic Eglatine requested that Luigis father sit for her in the top meadow. Agatha went along too and one can distinctly remember them returning somewhat flushed but one put it down to sitting in the afternoon sun for too long. Oddly enough several of the house maids left soon after with mystery ailments. Used to be most disturbed at the sounds of retching emanating from the servants quarters of a morning but attributed it to the suppers cook whipped up of an evening.

Anyway, alls well that ends well, the vicar has been completely exonerated without so much as a stain on his character, seems that he and Agatha simply fell asleep in the churchyard and there was no wrongdoing whatsoever. Luigi has gained a brother he never knew he had, although one does hope that he does not share in Luigis topiary peculiarities and everyone is happy. However, one will have Blenkinsop on standby with ones Purdey when ones nieces come to visit just in case the new brothers take after their father and the Mem' has begun interviewing replacement house maids, none of whom are under fifty and most of whom resemble the Russian Olympic shot putt team.